The rainbow at Baga

It’s nearly 0.5-0.6 Km walk from the parking zone to my office in plant area. It’s an often over-looked benefit of working in a hazardous industry where you get ample avenues to use your foot and rest your car engines. Of all the walks, this is the most chattering one since I ride a train of thoughts on my way, about anything and everything. In these five minutes, my mind and heart have their fiercest battles making me as the judge where I submit my failure and it turns out to be an impasse’ every time. These dialogues affect and decide how the day at work is going to be. Since last few days however,after spending almost a week in the Konkan coast of Western India, both these instigators are at peace and surprisingly collaborating to keep alive the powerful moments so created.

Clash of personalities is a very common phenomenon in the society where man has built his own benchmarks,his own securities,his own fears,his own lookouts. In this self made sculpture, he becomes adept in hiding the one who is still a naive when it comes to a conventional behaviour that is often expected when we meet new people. Behaviour where we ought to smile, assess the situation, be smart enough to conceal the jugglery of our thoughts and portray them calmly, in nutshell,try out every means not to expose the real us. That is fair too at times. 

But sometimes,we come across few people where strings get attached without making much efforts,most likely because we could find similar tunes playing inside their minds.

Such groups last long.

It was easy and contemplative taking strolls in the bustling streets and shores of goa alone but it was fun walking miles with these guys, fun having a night out,listening to the ultimate summiteer, quivering at the takes on spirits,dancing on the shack music,whooting in between,drinking for the cheers,hookah-ing, eating,running on the airport till the last call with them shouting aloud and revisiting the college days with the ones who were not back then but each one of them reminded me of some..

We meet some people and get inspired,so inspired that even if we are not them but we feel highly priveleged just because we know them. And we had one in this group. One who was among a group of people similar to him, bent to reach at the top of the world,The Everest. Meeting him, the only thought that crossed my mind was like,"Now I can say,I know someone who has done Everest," His accomplishment, my experience.

Back to our places, we might find these fading away, like a rainbow that in no time vanishes and the sky becomes bland again.

But with passing clouds, seasons change and we get our share of rain everytime. This rain at Goa has drenched us full till the next season arrives....so I shall be waiting...

THE ISLAND

Have you ever felt like an unguided, unoccupied ship whose anchor has been released and it is floating on the surface of the sea. Sea which is unfathomably deep. Sea which has no intentions to cease its horizon. Sea where no island is to appear any time soon. 

The patterns of our life sometimes make us feel like that lost ship. All we need is a resort and some will , not to accept the abduction of our soul. No matter how much busy we have turned into. No matter how much invested we are in our one single life whose time is running out.

There are things to be done. There will always be things to be done. They just don't get finished. Instead, they try harder every time to finish us. It all depends on us us, how slyly we manage to escape this feud. Sometimes we succeed. Sometimes our fight becomes mundane.

The relationship between the boat and the sea however speaks of loyalty. Though its path seems aimless, but still it floats, in hope, in search of solace.Eventually it gets that. And the pleasure possibly is multiplied only because of the yearning, because of its lost trails.

So sometimes, plains of consistency play dull and gloomy while discords play the symphony inside the head. With that symphony, we survive till an island appears again....

The undestined

DAY-0     A gaping canvas with expectations unlimited.

I do not consider a blank canvas lifeless. Obstensibly it is full of inscrutable realities. It has nothing to show, yet a lot hidden behind the veil of white. It is smirking at the confused state of my mind...it is proud enough to still have a chance to start afresh...it has a palette of possibilities to shape its life...it is stirring my creative engine to take a kick start and numb the loudness of this impostor.....

For an artist, an unpainted surface is like a mirror, all  set to reflect him/her on his/her canvas, and suddenly you are exposed before your own eyes. It inspires your inner engineering that constructs something which shall always help you in transporting the impulses of your vexed soul to a peaceful resort. But that inspiration takes lot of efforts to come.....it just don't come so easily..... and i am still waiting.....

DAY 1- The toughest part is to conclude an outline sketch in mind to cover a big area and that consumes most of my time.Till it is finalised the nerves of my mind are strained shadowing all other thoughts with this single flux of what to paint. After a week I guess they made a submission. And I started with something like this. The time of union of night with the dawn has powers to cleanse our minds and soul. It is the time moon bids farewell handing over the empire to a completely contrasted entity despite the fact that every chapter of night shall be over turned. This surreal time is for the generosity, for unity, for chastity. So I chose the hues to exhibit how gently night sublimes into morning and we, the people, start our routine as a mark of acceptance to this beautiful timeless event.........

DAY 2- Once the background is done,we know that at the end it's going to be beautiful.
The next step was to bring rural skyline to bring into life. For that, I painted few kuccha houses, bullock cart,field fences and some trees. I have a blur vision of my village that mostly has rustic walls and courtyards, lots of cows and bulls of which I was extremely scared and fields....all sort of rich , handsome, proud fields...This canvas village came out pretty well as well..

The main character of my final picture was the bull,fully adorned,festive bull as a companion to the village boy who was out in the morning to announce the onset of Durgamahotsava...They are close to each other,connected with an unsaid bond of friendship..

The entire process of painting involves a sea of emotions...anxiety for the uncertain and unseen....fear of mistakes...ecstasy on the riot of colors melting well...pride of being the creator of something which has a public display.... 

Heart sees what eyes can't see

My niece is studying in Class 9. Yesterday she dropped this line in my inbox and my sudden reaction was like whhooooooaaa....Class 9 students have become so poetic at such an early stage. Well I wasn't. I have fading images of my memory when I was at her age. What I used to do , what I used to think at that time? How was my comprehension? So far I remember, I was mostly involved in hosting annual functions and sports events and my speaking skills were renowned at School level among teachers and in peer. But I doubt my poetic mind was awakened so early. I guess it all began in college when I was confronted towards some newest episodes of my life and my literary soul started getting inspiration.....and it never stopped ....

But even now, some of the topics and contexts perplex me. This one is of that kind. "HEART SEES WHAT EYES CANT SEE" in other words " EVERYTHING THAT YOU SEE IS NOT THE TRUTH"....To comprehend where should I start from? See my eyes are seeing this line and my mind has started juggling for its meaning but my heart is searching for something else like a hidden inference from this.

Biologically, our heart is just a pumping device with no life of its own but still we use it as a metaphor for the barrage of emotional contents within ourselves. Heart seems to be another figurative  being inside us contrast to our logical side. So when a human being thinks about something, he thinks two ways, one using his mind and another using his heart.It is quite clear that our mind receives signals or you can say food from the sensory signals either by sight or smell or touch. Where does this heart get its feedback to react in completely different ways sometimes? That's a difficult question to answer.

We human beings have been endowed with tremendous potential and it takes a lifetime to discover every fraction of it. One of such potentials is power of intuition. And that lays the foundation for our craziest dreams that defy our realities. Newton and Edison belonged to destitute families and were treated as academic failures in their early childhood days. World saw them as they were treated. But deep down, inside them, there was a voice, deafening voice constantly pushing them towards the unseen and undiscovered and they let the world witness some greatest inventions of all times.

With its power, heart can penetrate deeper into the corners of another heart creating the basis of some of the most beautiful relationships of friendship and love. We cannot have everyone in our friend circle, we are also not able to like and love every person surrounding us. It largely depends upon the vibes encompassing the personality which can only be felt and synced with ours to create a harmony. This is also the nub of all social and political issues. We are often influenced and stimulated by the events happening in front of our eyes without entering into the premises of truth by making quick inferences and hasty actions. This way, we are creating huge barriers between our mind and soul and we are allowing our personalities to rust which has the power to shine and do miracles.

It was because of this heart and its power to believe system that we managed to transform from nomads to farmers, from farmers to dreamers when the realities were challenging. Eyes could see endless seas but still, foreign lands were discovered. Eyes could see the brutalities of invaders but still countries won their independence. It was only because they believed they could.

The mastery of seeing beyond the seen can be gained through constantly applying this approach in our day to day activities. By trying to be calm and composed in our every action, we can allow the turbulent mind to settle down and look through all the possible perspectives that might affect our decisions and behaviour. For students it might change the way of preparing for exams, for adults and parents it might alter the way of parenting, for teachers it might transform the way of teaching, for everyone, it might change the way of living. Positive living for high happiness index is no secret. It is easy to adopt once one becomes able to listen to his heart, to its complaints and to its desires otherwise our own potentials and talents which are yet to unleash shall be overshadowed. Because heart and its fancies are connected to our subconscious mind that is the storehouse for all our forgotten memories which crafted our present, we can rely on it.

All these intimacies keep people together under a community or a within a country united, working for a common cause because they feel motivated towards that cause. For illustration, India might be country with more than a billion people with many divides and issues but for every Indian it is more than that. It is a feeling which is celebrated every now and then. For an order to exist for peace, heart should definitely see what eyes cannot.

We are one of the most beautiful creations of nature for a reason. Not only can we think logically but can coat our thoughts with different layers of emotions making them more meaningful and purposeful.  Our entire belief system lingers across this propelling us to do wonders.

SAPIENS

When it comes to reading I am finicky and a turtle because it takes me through ages to travel till the end. I think my residence time with every new chapter is too high because my mind is too much analytical to let it go and grasp it without any argument. "Sapiens" is one such book. But this time I am taking long time since with its every new angle I get transported to the era it talks about. From a four legged animal to forager, from a nomad to a cultivator, from a farmer to modern man...well slowness is in our genes as he says.....it's not my fault but inheritance.....

Anyways, this book is a keeper. It just fires the hay of curiosity to let it burn till the figment of our imagination reaches its limit. Without much of a fictional drama, it has connected so many dots that validates our existence and lifestyle. It explains what must have happened back then that led to biological transformations in different periods of time with reasons behind our emotional and social behaviour, our cravings, our desires, our nature...

We are the evolute of a female ape that delivered two daughters one of which became the ancestor of Chimpanzees and the other is our grandmother ..... who became the first of first men to write down the history.....

Well these theories of evolution based upon the research and samples obtained from  the remains of history have tried to visualise something that happened millions of years ago...it's definitely beyond our power to believe and construe but the author and his depictions assist us in following...He talks about the co-existence of different genes of Homos at the same time in different parts of the world but see the travesty Homo Sapiens managed to survive these centuries in such a way that today no person of any different general code is available on this big planet. Now whether their survival was due to their resilience towards natural challenges or due to their cataclysmic instincts that erased the existence of all other kinds is still not proven......But somehow it explains the inherent snobbish behaviour of humans were they treat themselves to be at the top of the world ..the greatest creation of nature....despite the fact that when we started off....we were among the bottom zones of the food cycle.........We do not compromise...we do not adjust...we do not share....we stand alone.. try to be above all.....that led us to be away from our past...in the jungles of concrete land..but we are still unable to defeat our cravings to walk on the grass, touch a green leaf, be in the aegis of Savannah.........Now that doesn't sound weird now........

If I continue writing bout the topics and angles he has tried to put in his book, I would certainly fail.....I have so far enjoyed the company of SAPIENS..it helps me in teleporting...in connecting with the Realities of reality........

Feed me, she says

I am famished, says my literary soul and I have no idea how to feed her. I am truly clueless, completely under the control of external forces. 

The only thing to which my true spirit is connected is her and not me who is just a medium......to survive.

Every personality has its own light, however it easily gets shadowed....and intimidated in the company of other personalities and cloud of daily events. The moment one understands and discovers his subdued light, he outshines every other and that is where his penny is dropped....and he becomes unstoppable. My light is in the words I use to ink my feelings, in the strokes of my brush that I use to paint down my mind... Time and again, they need to be de-dusted .......to drill out the flair that is pushed everyday a little bit towards the rock bottom.....

Today is the last day of the week, Saturday...Sunday is gaping with lots of expectations from me to make it fulfilling and rejuvenate my inner me for enduring the next week...I hope it ends well...with a contented heart and a lighter soul.......

One seat

Train anxieties are intriguing. They discover some of the most mysterious sides of us which remain hidden in our daily chores. They are of  many kinds. Lets have a look on some of the most common feelings(I guess) everyone of us must have experienced while travelling in Indian trains which carry not only humans but stories......many interesting stories....

Suppose you board a train in your reserved compartment, eagerly searching for the allotted seat numbers and finally when you find it,you see,it is luxuriously being enjoyed by some stranger as if he was born on that seat. And you ask,

 " Excuse me where is your seat?" 

Sometimes they smile, sometimes they don't rather accuse you through their looks for encroaching their freedom of sleeping and basking. But usually they reply back with some unsaid or fumbled or entwined words leaving just a portion of our very own seat. Even in cases where the unwanted person tries to be friendly, genuinely, our instincts say it is for their interest to borrow some more time there. And many times they succeed in doing that because we fail to move them out. But until they get up because of any reason, my mini me keeps pestering me, 

" Is it okay to be generous and let him be for the sake of humanity? Or Should I rudely ask him to switch or get away because I am not interested in socializing? Should I be humble and polite or authoritative to get things done? " This small and trivial incident instigates my entire personality for what kind of person am I? In that short period, that one seat becomes my prized possession like a life time earned property on which I cannot bear any share. 

It all depends on the situation, the type of person he is and the type of person I want to play with him/her. It all comes spontaneously. But in every case, at the end, it proves one thing, we humans get attached to any thing very easily and for the sake of the attachment that makes us comfortable we often forget who we truly are...........One seat and all this fuss in mind...well this mind deserves better...

Palette

It has been again very long.As a usual trait of procrastination, filled with gluttonous matter to write about, let me quickly post some of the recent paintings as an elixir to the weight of my head....

Krishna

peacock on the railing

3 little angels

Recent colors

Before I display the diorama of my newly developed garden and the decor of my home let me first fill the backlogs of my recent paintings that this space has missed. Oil paint that calls for an exaggerated patience has been kept aside after I painted Buddha and a lady going to temple. Acrylic gives quick results and hence has been the medium for all the recent paintings I have completed in last few months. I am getting better at the mingle effects with practice with acrylics. Initially they seemed stiff and adamant to get diluted leaving marks of strokes. But gradually I am getting into techniques I guess. let us have a tour of these colorful portrayals which are already hung on the walls of my home.....

 This one is the latest creation. I have always been fascinated towards such kind of mythological, story telling, captivating paintings that contain a serenity in the expressions of the characters and a surreal landscape. Depicting the selfless bond of love between Krishna and Radha that involves her demands and his pampers, where there is a contentment in their sharing and a sense of peace in each facet of their friendship.

An abstract of Radha-Krishna with dry brush strokes depicting all kind of emotions: Love, compassion, anger, friendship, devotion and reverence....

A gift to my brother on his engagement. A peep into the past, taken from the alleys of childhood where we are unknown to the fact what we would grow into. Where we don't even bother of the future and wear a carefree mood of fun and laughter always. Those days seem bygone.....

Another trial of Buddha midst of the noise of outer world seeking silence and peace.......

The whisperer

Friends

Glamour of royalty

Amer Fort

The personal corner of the house that entertains in ma 'me' time.. 

The sultry look-She might be coming from an Arabic land with a strength in her eyes and an unbeatable compassion in bewitching looks...

While traversing the nature at times, it is least intervened when it comes out in its purest form..... The faith and devotion offered in these moments strike the deepest core of the soul and silence brings serenity..

Back with a pen

What else could be the best time to revisit my own blog after a long break in the beginning of a new year with an undeclared but self proclaimed resolution that I will re-vitalize my writing to keep me breathing with sighs of contentment. Actually this time due to non-availability of network and of course absence of me most of the times left this blog with no posts since months. Internet and connectivity with the outer world has become the topmost priority for everyone today making us feel alive among our friends and family. The moment I reach my office I log on to my network and become available for all those who also might be sitting somewhere with their screens on. The moment I come back home, I get to my phone for any text messages or updates on social sites. All these trends of the day alias distractions have made me an impostor who is stealing away the true self. And the tragedies with books is the greatest. Recently I heard Gulzar, the famous enchanted Indian lyricist reading some of his lines on how we have distanced our tiny little happiness that we used to receive every now and then after technology took over. About how books plea from behind the dusty glasses of the cupboard for being read. About how we have forgotten the charm of finding out an old letter or a note or some shrivelled flower that always spoke of some old story close to the heart. It is really painful to find ourselves in the ocean of digressions where we we find no harmony in what we think and what we do, in what we speak and what we seek.

About being away from the true self, I guess there may be many reasons. Many times we feel that there is a mystic silence in the mind, where we strive to think something but still no sign of any thought is revealed. And sometimes a whole cobweb of thoughts each fighting for their revelations come up making the brain to explode. In both the cases, I get the realization that I need to clear my head from the dust that flies from outside over the days. And this can only be done by either penning them down here or putting them on canvas. A light, fresh and new breeze follows keeping every thing back in place which few time back seemed scattered and tangled.

So as of now this post has washed off a bit of my load that I was carrying. Tomorrow is Weekend and I guess I will get plenty of stuff to stuff here. Signing off with a quote before I fall in slumber," There is lot unknown, lot undiscovered, lot un-realized, so keep looking for adventures in life, keep beading your experiences to make a strong trail of beliefs, keep adding radiance to your soul, keep improving!!!"

Learning Oil

Oil Paints are really testing me out. It is tough to be patient knowing that its effect can be marvelous. I always wanted to paint Buddha who seems to be a source of calmness, peace, knowledge and eternal light. Though it is not as I thought. Painting shall get better with more strokes I guess. The only thing that bothers is that the oil being used for the purpose empties out from the bottle very frequently. Buddhism is an interesting legacy that I would like to read. Inspired from my own painting I wish to paint many more Buddhas..........

Just imagine!!

Today I saw water breathing. Yeah really it was. While dechoking a service water line at my workplace, the drained water kissed the muddy pathway and carved out its own channel of drain. Since the water was in motion, it perhaps swept off the thin bottom layer of the soil creating tiny vortex ending up into bubbles that swam on the surface.Those bubbles were in number but were bursting quickly creating as many ripples as were they making the channel a corrugated stream.

The gift of imagination is precious. I am not self-aggrandizing myself but just putting up a selfless thought. Keep a doodle and ask someone to frame different pictures in mind. There will be a number of illustrations depending upon the way we have trained our mind and thoughts. Amidst the busy lives, we often create an incessant momentum where the link with the inner self is lost awhile till we take a moment every time to retreat. That moment may be very short or just in the form of a deep sigh provided it should release all the knots from the mind and cleanse the bowl before it spills.

Whenever I go out, meet people, hear them out, I conclude that I am not very fond of socializing. There are so many emotions attacking straightaway from their words, some good some bad some harsh some funny some astonishing and some unique creating an instant emotion in return in our minds.Mine is already filled up with my own gnarled up questions that often it feels clumsy to accommodate inputs from outside. 

Meditation is a way to focus all the scattered bits at one place and make something brighter and clear out of it. I guess it may be done in several ways. The true and regular practitioners might have developed an inherent appeal to be at self in hitch hike conditions unlikely people like us who understand its importance and crave for it only then when their soul seems to be are in trouble. Putting right colors on the canvas is a kind of meditation for me. Writing this post that is entertaining my old me is a kind of meditation for me. All that shuts my mind for a while seems to be a meditation for me because it is the only time where it remains quiet.

Going to sleep now. Ancora imparo has been lonely since few months. So I guess I shall re start my frequent postings. Till my next post keep imagining and keep retreating!! cheers!!

The inside upheaval

A day off is also not helping. In the world of adulthood where we are bound by a categorical routine to go to a place where what we do feels like an act of drudgery, something which is not from our heart. A lot goes in the mind, settles down, rise again and settle down yet again. It hurts to admit that nothing is being done to break the continuous whining of the instinct which raises its head time and again to exclaim that something somewhere needs to be changed. This self captivation which is refraining my freedom of thoughts and freedom of being my own is really frustrating and often steals all confidence and faith gradually. The only thing that helps or better say acts like a healer is my words which ease the entire conundrum by contemplating the tangled wisps of thoughts.What not is to write. Everyday we experience so many events, some bad some good. If all is written the volume will be huge. But we don't. Words are spilled only when mind gets gorged enough to explode and just before the upheaval it clears off the margin a bit till the next time.

There are so many Whys and Hows. Life is running fast asking and challenging to match up its pace but unluckily again and again I feel like falling behind. Time is there for me offering its hand to jump and take a leap beyond the environment I want to change but that threshold seems afar. The only fear that remains behind is that what if this dormancy becomes a part of me. Riddles to solve, to bloom my soul, to feel like never before, to find the unknown............................all to do here before I leave ..

Wedding poses time crunch

I did not shop this much before as I am doing since last couple of months and  surprisingly the list is not ceasing rather adding new elements with every new buy. Actually all accusations should fall on my heart that has gone crazy behind the sparkly, colorful, traditional and totally Indian stuffs that would make me look like a royal princess at that night. I have got so many things in line : Bridal Jewellery which I wanted to be Kundan but ended with Kundan-Choker set; Bridal Lehenga which I wanted to be fully traditional with broad and wide laces and heavy embroidery but ended with quite a simple one with pearly patterns and elements of velvet along the border. This lehenga gave me many shocks with this thought that did I hurry in taking this one of the most important stuffs that would outline my first impression as a bride before the world present there. But now when it is taken I am feeling it will look nice.

I guess I went with the flow again. I have been so busy in wedding site and in customizing some feasible parts of my wedding plans that I could not write much here. Actually I all of a sudden fell into relationship. I would lie if I won't say that in real sense I chose to fall in the relationship which stole quite a chunk of my time which I used to dedicate to my pals(pen, diary, paints, brushes etc) and gave it to him. Have seen and experienced many new things here and hope to witness even more to keep alive the curiosity to explore. 

I have still in my account a lot pending jobs to finish among which important ones are Vitaan's article and drawing to finalize and "D Painting" to complete before I retire for wedding. Time crunch cannot be felt better than this where every time the list of jobs seem extrapolated adding new items.

I realized all these days how people used to say that I will never know how these months will pass and will be standing at the door of my wedding. Really time flew like wind and this year passed in a flash. But this flash whirled up a lot of events...really a lott..........I such a time my deep sighs help me a lot to breathe out the weariness out of all such rushes................

Well these days either I am becoming an acute observant or really time is moving so fast that I am unable to sit awhile to think why am I running? After months I got a chance and a tendency actually to visit my own blog and create a post! With barrage of new things coming up I fear to lose the hands of some old keepers which always assisted me to let down the load of my estranged pile of thoughts. But I believe that with my fighter 'me' though I would no doubt cringe about the self created boredom and the gush of changes but the end I would return back here where I am still there, unaltered.
Anyways, so many things happened while I was away. Many presentations and of course lot many appraisals boring further holes in my invisibility, plenty paintings, very few writings, rife tours for wedding plans and overall a well occupied mind pleading every now and then to have peace. But a guess as soon as I realized that I have grown up I was struck by one more realization that time never returns, it flies leaving behind a stale smell of the past. So I try to write them down and capture their freshness as much as I can.
Durga Pooja '2013 offered us a tight schedule for decoration and left me with two giant size canvases which finally got completed in only 7 days(my personal record).
When the canvas came, I was really  thoughtful what can be made here. But finally I got a real nice painting. The journey however could not be captured after every turn but I would like to share the ones I clicked.

The final picture looked just elegant and glamorous flaunting all its intricacies in the chamber of god.

The second one felt a bit injustice due to time crisis. But still it gave a strong competition to the first one and appeared as one powerful presentation.

I always wanted to paint a nice and impressive and expressive silhouette. My wish got fulfilled and this painting gathered several fans who drooled along the roaring lion.

This time due to umpteen engagements I could not visit the pandal often but had this satisfaction that my paintings were there to engrave all the events. Quite colorful decor with umbrella ceilings within a tight schedule, the group seemed extremely happy..

Reverie

Well When I started with this work, I genuinely thought it's going to be just like any other nature painting that meets the same fate as some of my other paintings i.e to stay hanging on my walls prompting me to paint a better one. But this came out real well like the ones that let me usually admire myself for the colorful piece of art.

I really wish to wander across such jungles without any fear of tomorrow that always bring a lot of apprehensions. A place where I could find peace on the ground, in the air, among the trees. A place where I could easily retrieve the lost, forgotten pages of my own life which often are turned but are left unread in lieu of the upcoming events which seem glossy and luring. One can easily go back and travel through time with the companions like elements of nature which contain and treasure all your memories. To wash off the dusty layers of social hangovers and take a time off from the diurnal occupation sometimes it becomes essential to regain the reverie..... 

The colors are vivid enough to brighten the dried eyes and the lampposts glimmer to enlighten the entire night and witness the retreat....

Nothing is left to say when it comes

It is almost impossible and beyond our imagination to assess the deadly pain of losing someone in front of our eyes when nothing can be done except watching incapably. Uttarakhand’s tragedy facelifts the tininess of mankind in front of nature’s ferocious form where in seconds everything just vanishes. A life ends just like that in no time. All we can do is moan about the nonnegotiable exchange of lives in lieu of the continued injustice that is being done for years with nature. The heartfelt experiences of people who have survived the havoc are either in complete shock or deep agony after encountering death so near and seeing helpless people drifting away in its claws. The death toll has reached thousands, many survived, many couldn’t bear the acute hunger for days or the chill of unpitying weather and surrendered. Kids, elderly, youth and women all are in the lots of corpses who waited for some miraculous help but couldn’t receive the luck of getting a chance to live again.

Every day we whine for several problems; professional, personal, emotional and sometimes feel like we are trapped in one of the biggest problems where it’s difficult to come out of it. We all have many concerns in life, many aspirations and expectation from this life, lot many dreams to fulfill, lot many issues to solve. How can such a loaded and incomplete life can be just taken away. Under the remains of flood lies the dead body of all such lives.

When I hear or see such instances of calamity and disaster, faces of my own people who are like essential bits of my life flash in front of my eyes and questions like ‘what if’ clobbers this mind. Held hands when suddenly slip away, when persons coming behind all of a sudden disappear, when hanging, striving persons just fall in nadir, when the river passing by doesn’t carry the quenching water rather stream of floating bodies of our own people…how can one gather the staggered courage to look forward with a hope to survive. Every witness, every presenter in the affected area unfortunately has the same scene in front of them. Many have already lost their families, their friends and are still trying hard for the life that has gone all empty stained with such a strong memory that will never fade.

Nature’s revenge never spares and now it seems it is too late to revert back to correct the mistakes. Mistakes that is so huge that it is impossible to assess their probable consequences. Seeing the devastation, it appears that we as a commoner should be just ready to get engulfed anytime in the nature’s womb. All I hope is to stay with people we love at the time we receive the final call.

As of now all we can do is to live this life fully, happily, without any complaints, without any fear with friends and family preserving the smiles, counting each day like a crowned day.

Start off

A really really long time. Though Internet and soft screen has captivated the leisure of a common man making him occupied for at least 12-14 hours whether it is at work or at home, we still cringe for a pen and paper for a rich outflow of thoughts that still hesitate to get typed on the screen. But how often do we pick up a pen to fill at least one page with some conventional chattering of mind. At least I confess that have become too weak or I can say departed. Even it seems tiresome to think what might be the reason behind this chronic death of expression that used to be very fluent and ever ready to get inked. Don't I have time? I think I have. Don't I have urge? I think I have that too then what is the reason that I keep on procrastinating my stuffs in view of nothing.At the end of everyday if I calculate what effective(in my terms of course) have I done, I Often remain answer less. I know that my mind spins a lot and sometimes it gets so entangled in its own cobweb that it looks like a burden to loosen the multi-tasking approach. The things accumulate and everything appears so heavy and onerous just because I couldn't follow time and its demand.

It's this time when I realize that time flies and never comes back.So sometimes even when we don't feel like plunging ahead for some work that makes us light, we should try to just do it at least to store that goodwill feeling for the times of blue.

I was scared to find one day that my diary is not full yet even after two years mocking at me for my alienation.I do possess similar grievances from myself at times and try to polish them with small appearances as a writer or a painter for consolation. But I know these tiny attentions are ephemeral to appease the complaining soul. Soon I switch back to the old track of whining.

I know I cannot receive a continuous inspiration from self always until I respond honestly to what my instinct says to me. It says, do what yo like at the time you like.Do not compromise with 'your things' that give you joy a midst chaotic materialism. Always take a time off when you feel it's really needed to come inside you and talk and have fun and have the pleasure of being just self.

See we often get attracted towards an article headed something like 'ways to get happiness'or 'how can you make yourself happy'..Do all such articles demonstrate something that we don't know or something that we often forget. Sitting inside the four walls we lose the charm we used to have when our hands were not tied with machines and electronic gadgets. After spending whole of a day in office we do not bother to come out under sky making us even more cocooned. We feel connected to the world the moment we connect our internet modem and start receiving virtual conversations forgetting that one world that used to be quite large full of talks is getting all diminished day by day.

I hope all these occupational hazards once realized would be soon attended and I will get back my composure despite the emotional effects released by big changes that I often exaggerate ...............

Moonlit Whisperer-2

Where this earth ends and moon shines,

Where we breathe and this nature sighs.

Where the sky spreads its widest wings

Where the melody rises from the amorous strings.

Where silence speaks and words follow.

Where I foster your soul, full, complete, thorough.

Where my hands are held into yours.

Where I could listen what fate stores.

Where there is a sound of only breaths.

Where you and me are held in a single faith.

There I want to be with you.

There I want to live with you.

I do

I don't believe in luck

But when you touch the lines of my palm, I do

I don't paint much these days,

But when my colors blend with your thoughts, I do.

I don't look out for what I left,

But when I find you today with me and miss you yesterday, I do.

I don't look at the mirror most times,

But when I find some places where you touched, I do.

I don't make stories that seem unreal,

But when there is a fable of you and me, I do.

I don't get recover from my sleep often

But when you come near to wake me up everyday, I do.

I don't love things changing,

But when the change holds your hand and I agree, I do.

I don't know how to open my heart before you

But when you come like a sight, and when you place a kiss,I do.