SAPIENS

When it comes to reading I am finicky and a turtle because it takes me through ages to travel till the end. I think my residence time with every new chapter is too high because my mind is too much analytical to let it go and grasp it without any argument. "Sapiens" is one such book. But this time I am taking long time since with its every new angle I get transported to the era it talks about. From a four legged animal to forager, from a nomad to a cultivator, from a farmer to modern man...well slowness is in our genes as he says.....it's not my fault but inheritance.....

Anyways, this book is a keeper. It just fires the hay of curiosity to let it burn till the figment of our imagination reaches its limit. Without much of a fictional drama, it has connected so many dots that validates our existence and lifestyle. It explains what must have happened back then that led to biological transformations in different periods of time with reasons behind our emotional and social behaviour, our cravings, our desires, our nature...

We are the evolute of a female ape that delivered two daughters one of which became the ancestor of Chimpanzees and the other is our grandmother ..... who became the first of first men to write down the history.....

Well these theories of evolution based upon the research and samples obtained from  the remains of history have tried to visualise something that happened millions of years ago...it's definitely beyond our power to believe and construe but the author and his depictions assist us in following...He talks about the co-existence of different genes of Homos at the same time in different parts of the world but see the travesty Homo Sapiens managed to survive these centuries in such a way that today no person of any different general code is available on this big planet. Now whether their survival was due to their resilience towards natural challenges or due to their cataclysmic instincts that erased the existence of all other kinds is still not proven......But somehow it explains the inherent snobbish behaviour of humans were they treat themselves to be at the top of the world ..the greatest creation of nature....despite the fact that when we started off....we were among the bottom zones of the food cycle.........We do not compromise...we do not adjust...we do not share....we stand alone.. try to be above all.....that led us to be away from our past...in the jungles of concrete land..but we are still unable to defeat our cravings to walk on the grass, touch a green leaf, be in the aegis of Savannah.........Now that doesn't sound weird now........

If I continue writing bout the topics and angles he has tried to put in his book, I would certainly fail.....I have so far enjoyed the company of SAPIENS..it helps me in teleporting...in connecting with the Realities of reality........

Back with a pen

What else could be the best time to revisit my own blog after a long break in the beginning of a new year with an undeclared but self proclaimed resolution that I will re-vitalize my writing to keep me breathing with sighs of contentment. Actually this time due to non-availability of network and of course absence of me most of the times left this blog with no posts since months. Internet and connectivity with the outer world has become the topmost priority for everyone today making us feel alive among our friends and family. The moment I reach my office I log on to my network and become available for all those who also might be sitting somewhere with their screens on. The moment I come back home, I get to my phone for any text messages or updates on social sites. All these trends of the day alias distractions have made me an impostor who is stealing away the true self. And the tragedies with books is the greatest. Recently I heard Gulzar, the famous enchanted Indian lyricist reading some of his lines on how we have distanced our tiny little happiness that we used to receive every now and then after technology took over. About how books plea from behind the dusty glasses of the cupboard for being read. About how we have forgotten the charm of finding out an old letter or a note or some shrivelled flower that always spoke of some old story close to the heart. It is really painful to find ourselves in the ocean of digressions where we we find no harmony in what we think and what we do, in what we speak and what we seek.

About being away from the true self, I guess there may be many reasons. Many times we feel that there is a mystic silence in the mind, where we strive to think something but still no sign of any thought is revealed. And sometimes a whole cobweb of thoughts each fighting for their revelations come up making the brain to explode. In both the cases, I get the realization that I need to clear my head from the dust that flies from outside over the days. And this can only be done by either penning them down here or putting them on canvas. A light, fresh and new breeze follows keeping every thing back in place which few time back seemed scattered and tangled.

So as of now this post has washed off a bit of my load that I was carrying. Tomorrow is Weekend and I guess I will get plenty of stuff to stuff here. Signing off with a quote before I fall in slumber," There is lot unknown, lot undiscovered, lot un-realized, so keep looking for adventures in life, keep beading your experiences to make a strong trail of beliefs, keep adding radiance to your soul, keep improving!!!"

Learning Oil

Oil Paints are really testing me out. It is tough to be patient knowing that its effect can be marvelous. I always wanted to paint Buddha who seems to be a source of calmness, peace, knowledge and eternal light. Though it is not as I thought. Painting shall get better with more strokes I guess. The only thing that bothers is that the oil being used for the purpose empties out from the bottle very frequently. Buddhism is an interesting legacy that I would like to read. Inspired from my own painting I wish to paint many more Buddhas..........

Just imagine!!

Today I saw water breathing. Yeah really it was. While dechoking a service water line at my workplace, the drained water kissed the muddy pathway and carved out its own channel of drain. Since the water was in motion, it perhaps swept off the thin bottom layer of the soil creating tiny vortex ending up into bubbles that swam on the surface.Those bubbles were in number but were bursting quickly creating as many ripples as were they making the channel a corrugated stream.

The gift of imagination is precious. I am not self-aggrandizing myself but just putting up a selfless thought. Keep a doodle and ask someone to frame different pictures in mind. There will be a number of illustrations depending upon the way we have trained our mind and thoughts. Amidst the busy lives, we often create an incessant momentum where the link with the inner self is lost awhile till we take a moment every time to retreat. That moment may be very short or just in the form of a deep sigh provided it should release all the knots from the mind and cleanse the bowl before it spills.

Whenever I go out, meet people, hear them out, I conclude that I am not very fond of socializing. There are so many emotions attacking straightaway from their words, some good some bad some harsh some funny some astonishing and some unique creating an instant emotion in return in our minds.Mine is already filled up with my own gnarled up questions that often it feels clumsy to accommodate inputs from outside. 

Meditation is a way to focus all the scattered bits at one place and make something brighter and clear out of it. I guess it may be done in several ways. The true and regular practitioners might have developed an inherent appeal to be at self in hitch hike conditions unlikely people like us who understand its importance and crave for it only then when their soul seems to be are in trouble. Putting right colors on the canvas is a kind of meditation for me. Writing this post that is entertaining my old me is a kind of meditation for me. All that shuts my mind for a while seems to be a meditation for me because it is the only time where it remains quiet.

Going to sleep now. Ancora imparo has been lonely since few months. So I guess I shall re start my frequent postings. Till my next post keep imagining and keep retreating!! cheers!!

Well these days either I am becoming an acute observant or really time is moving so fast that I am unable to sit awhile to think why am I running? After months I got a chance and a tendency actually to visit my own blog and create a post! With barrage of new things coming up I fear to lose the hands of some old keepers which always assisted me to let down the load of my estranged pile of thoughts. But I believe that with my fighter 'me' though I would no doubt cringe about the self created boredom and the gush of changes but the end I would return back here where I am still there, unaltered.
Anyways, so many things happened while I was away. Many presentations and of course lot many appraisals boring further holes in my invisibility, plenty paintings, very few writings, rife tours for wedding plans and overall a well occupied mind pleading every now and then to have peace. But a guess as soon as I realized that I have grown up I was struck by one more realization that time never returns, it flies leaving behind a stale smell of the past. So I try to write them down and capture their freshness as much as I can.
Durga Pooja '2013 offered us a tight schedule for decoration and left me with two giant size canvases which finally got completed in only 7 days(my personal record).
When the canvas came, I was really  thoughtful what can be made here. But finally I got a real nice painting. The journey however could not be captured after every turn but I would like to share the ones I clicked.

The final picture looked just elegant and glamorous flaunting all its intricacies in the chamber of god.

The second one felt a bit injustice due to time crisis. But still it gave a strong competition to the first one and appeared as one powerful presentation.

I always wanted to paint a nice and impressive and expressive silhouette. My wish got fulfilled and this painting gathered several fans who drooled along the roaring lion.

This time due to umpteen engagements I could not visit the pandal often but had this satisfaction that my paintings were there to engrave all the events. Quite colorful decor with umbrella ceilings within a tight schedule, the group seemed extremely happy..

Moonlit Whisperer-2

Where this earth ends and moon shines,

Where we breathe and this nature sighs.

Where the sky spreads its widest wings

Where the melody rises from the amorous strings.

Where silence speaks and words follow.

Where I foster your soul, full, complete, thorough.

Where my hands are held into yours.

Where I could listen what fate stores.

Where there is a sound of only breaths.

Where you and me are held in a single faith.

There I want to be with you.

There I want to live with you.

A travelogue

Well after a ton of time I have come here and it seems just like others I have too turned into just a visitor to this blog.After these many tacit days that hold a lot many events to be described here and i dont know really where to start from. Though I have so many topics to discuss here and knowing this that due to my reluctance and lack of time of course I would say, my vocab must have got a thin coat of rust that needs to be scraped off to do justice with these jumping thoughts.

Let me start with the awesome trip to Kerela, though it was meant for an official tour but the gestures and the hospitality, the ambiance and the weather, the colors and the humidity, the rhythm of Kerela mesmerized all of us and we felt it to be really God's Own country.

 Well when Kerela is named, we get a picture in mind: lots of coconut trees but since Coimbatore airport till the hotel in the city we could hardly get such a rich picture. We were little disappointed of not having any peculiar touch of kerela when already 2-3 days had passed during the training program. Worst of all, we searched for coconut water as well but couldn't find it in Kerela!!! That was really frustrating on our part since we had gathered nothing till now to flaunt about us being in heavenly place. It looked like an ordinary city with all brand outlets, same glittering roads at night, same crowd and same speed as we get in any north indian city: the only difference was the closing of shops by 8:00 PM, all people in white lungis and cotton attires, big juice shops with delicious shakes and juices to fight against the humid weather and the foreign and mixed language in people. Else was same.

After 5 days of complete disaster, we had plans to go to Munar with a hope to collect at least some memories(if we get) for taking them back to the routined life as a wet vestige.

Fighting against my instinctive whining over going back home out of continued sore throat, homesickness and strongest urge to get a glimpse of someone, I finally decided to make my trip and that was really one good decision because what was rewarded by nature there to us was really worth and priceless.

On the way to Munar via road trip is an exclusive feeling since it seems that the running roads leaving behind tall trees are greeting and creating new landscapes near, very near,for us each one with lovely surprises. Throughout the journey our mouths were open in awe, we didnt know how much more to get surprised and stunned. The best part of road trips is that we can stop anywhere we want to have customized memories and cherish trivial but precious things. 

Off the road, in the jungle, exploring ways to waterfalls: all seem so adventurous and gives an excitement to discover something that has been hidden somewhere in the nature. 

The game of such a treasure hunt takes us back to the days when we used to get excited and extremely happy with any exploration, any discovery that used to touch our inner goddesses. We were literally jumping and shouting and screaming and laughing after so many days as we found some beautiful nature shots where every tree, drop of every waterfall, every stone and every pebble were supporting as if were waiting for us and are equally delighted and excited having us there.

The lush meadows of rich tea estates and the length of the trees made us realize how rich and healthy and stout and green nature can be. They in no way looked dependent on us, neither adulterated or pitiful or weak or out of place. They instead seemed the smartest and most beautiful and strongest hosts letting every tourist believe that there is nothing more beautiful, more peaceful, more serene. Rising through the heights of Nelliyampathy hills, wherever we stopped, we searched for words and expressions to tie the astounding sight. With the mingled smell of cardamom, coffee beans and spices the air seemed so welcoming relaxing us in its service.

The cloud caressed peaks with heavenly formations of trees and rocks made the entire journey refreshing and we felt blessed in the lap of the majestic hills. At the peak of the hill that offers the entire view of the city in its lap held us at the top of seventh cloud or even beyond that. I cannot fairly describe here through my words how much peaceful it was. The silence that has rhythms of nature and whispers of air, where sky seemed near and land seemed far away, where I wished to lie down and talk with him for hours, or just lie down on his chest and look at the farthest point which cannot see us. The place hypnotized and brought the memories of him who makes life fulfilling. That was the beauty of that point which made everyone nostalgic and borrowed.

Well if I go on with this travelogue, I will keep on writing and writing because what is seen is something that can be described full on without any halt. But I guess this much is sufficient to collect back and go back in the galleries and valleys of my minds where the color of Kerela is still lingering.

 I just lived and held her in my arms, I got painted in her colors and I remained at peace.

Heart

Heart is a room of conspiracies. It seldom allows to stand at one point categorically. It always has another say in the most obvious things as if its sole aim is to prove that being the weakest among the strong chain of a human soul it is the strongest cause the weakest link has the power to break the entire chain.

The nature of heart being entirely unpredictable often brings a sense of fear while listening to it because its volatility towards different events is very quick and strong.My heart beats for life but my life often skips many beats. The most tender and delicate fractal that needs a consolation and desirable treatment every time it loses faith and hope. And surprisingly it is very much flexible enough to get manipulated the way we want. But question still remains is it our smartness or tragedy when we become able or successful in calming the heart which just became loquacious few times back.

The other side

Life has been parted into ages, every age with its own thinking whose language is often misunderstood. The reasons might be the face-lifting experiences in own life, tendency not to be odd among people, possessive nature that defaces into an imposed obligation and in many cases societal fossilized thinking that closes all the doors that may lead to any kind of change or acceptance. Human propensity not to accept the fact that he might be wrong, never allows him to breathe in the magical freshness of change that brings positive results with it. Such resilience appears on the skin of every age that is coiled with gossamer of endless references and creates the gap. A little listening and little more thinking over any issue helps in bridging the gap. The poem hence has tried to unleash the doubts of one of the most delicate relations between a father and his son.

Son:

{1}

When youth is in all its glory,

When I am ready to live my own story,

Why do you fret that I may fail?

Why do you think my efforts are stale?

{2}

I have my own mind to fit in,

My own eyes to see.

When you put your veil in front,

Tell me, how would I feel free?

{3}

I sometimes doubt your trust,

Your faith that you put in me.

Cause I know you are the strongest roots

Of which I have grown as a tree.

{4}

I still remember all the lessons,

That you taught with zeal to me.

I just want to add a little more,

With whatever I happen to see.

{5}

I fear to say that you are wrong,

Sometimes whenever I feel.

It’s just that I feel bit different,

And find some truths within.

{6}

Let me take out my hands

Crossed with yours till now.

To see this world and walk around

To find my path unbound.

{7}

I will be happy if you are

And same do I want from you.

Without any if’s and but’s

Your heart is where you ought to go through.

Father:

{1}

I will start from where you ended

And will open my heart today

That has fractals in the same line

In the same helpless way.

{2}

If I am the root and you are the tree

Tell me how I can ever let you free.

If truth lies only in what is seen,

Wouldn’t it be hard dear, to keep you green?

{3}

The fears of mine you referred to

Might keep your hands tied

Those only prevail cause I could see

My own reflection living my life.

{4}

Stories repeat defeating the time

Where I was once, today you stand.

I just want you to peep through it

Where lays a fertile promising land.

{5}

I have a strange thing to grouse,

That I am old enough to expiate.

But I want you to be all right

Before you deplore, before it’s late.

{6}

It’s not you that I doubt

It’s the life that I have already seen

Foresight are bad today I feel

Cause your doubts are quite umpteen.

{7}

I know I would not walk with you

Forever in life wherever you go.

But I always want you to have my shadow

Far enough to land you through.

{8}

It’s not fair at all

to expect from any age

For it seeks what it has seen.

Albeit it’s true that sooner or later

You will be a father with your teen.

With same sort of puzzles to solve

And similar issues to evolve.

If you feel anytime something can break

Talk to your son whatever it takes.

I am sure that you’ll be light again

The moment you strike a bargain.

Since every story has another side,

The way we are trying to take that ride.

One thing I promise I won’t let you fall,

Even when you want to ride alone.

I might not be right every time

But promise me dear,

 Our poem shall always rhyme.

माँ, याद तुम्हारी आती है।

इस कमरे का एकाकीपन 

तन्हा है ये मेरा मन 

इस अंधियारे में तेरी याद 

यादों के दीप जलाती है,

माँ, याद तुम्हारी आती है।

पास के छत पर माँ कोई 

गोद के मुन्ने में खोई,

कोमल थपकी दे-देकर 

जब लोरी कोई सुनाती है,

माँ, याद तुम्हारी आती है।

जब गर्म तवा छू जाता है 

हाथ मेरा जल जाता है 

या तेज धार की छूरी से 

ऊंगली ही कट जाते है,

माँ, याद तुम्हारी आती है।

हाँ, तुमसे मेरी दूरी है 

कुछ ऐसी ही मजबूरी है 

देर रात तक बिस्तर पर 

जब नींद मुझे न आती है,

माँ, याद तुम्हारी आती है।

कुछ बड़े सही मेरे अरमाँ 

पर बुरा नहीं मैं, मेरी माँ 

क्यूँ बार-बार तू रो-रोकर 

दिल के टूकड़े कर जाते है,

माँ, याद तुम्हारी आती है।

जब मुखड़ा तेरा हँसता है 

मुझे कितना अच्छा लगता  है 

इक दिन तुम्हें हँसाउंगा 

आवाज़ ये दिल से आती है, 

माँ, याद तुम्हारी आती है।

-- राहुल कुमार

(सर्जना 27वें अंक से)

A night with stars

Well everything starts with a daydream and not every ounce of it but at least some of it, in deformed or changed form, comes true. With an excitement  to see the galloping meteors across the sky I spent nearly one hour under the bare sky hoping to encounter one of the rarest events that we do not happen to see everyday. Well truth be told, I thought it would be like I saw few years back, a long bright flashing tail like a falling star that leaves behind the greatest sensations for such a vision. But it was albeit quite under measured.

While this course, I reinvented the aestheticism of star gazing when you lie under the sky and stars twinkle giving a titillation every now and then that they are going to fall. But they too are like the precarious ones who always have the maximum chances surrounding them to showcase something real and unusual but it is really once in a while and never predictable. They seem like tiny little bright white holes in the sky but still so fascinating, so attractive, so storied that I am in surprise that I spend quite a long time with them in the quietness of nights. 

It was something that went in a flash and after literally wrecking my neck I can never admit that it might be an illusion to my eye which I was unfortunately on my way to accept when I got an another treat of similar drop. And this time it felt real. Though quite an underestimated and reduced version of my fantasy but I am real glad that I saw it because like the event it is also quite rare that we go behind our every fantasy and it works out. We all are so busy in walking and talking and rushing on the ground that we hardly bother to look up where we used to stare a lot for our every little wish.I wanted people to hang out with me to partake the load of silent hours and share the physical pain of crippling my neck but the solitude at night after a real long time was also worth. I grabbed so many lost thoughts and was rewarded at the end no doubt.

Stars I remember used to be widely spread across the whole sky earlier but today they were clustered, though very less densely, to a squeezed central region of it. It might be because of the changing dimensions of the purpose for which stars were meant for. Though they never contributed much to dispel luminance and curtail the darkness of night but they used to be the source of fainted lights distanced real far to brighten up the sky and give moon a company. Their reflection in  a ripple less lake used to seem like a glowing coverlet with sparking dots. But today the light of earth is brighter enough it seems to blind the sky above. So they have retired.

Neways I hope to see lot of falling stars in future as well though I know they are already hiding and apparently getting extinct but that it's how we are going to realize that they are still there above.

Hope

I sit resting my chin on the folded knees under a willow tree everyday to leer at the setting sun that looks like receiving a caress from someone that stays, to someone who is leaving, with the brightest hope and greatest happiness that after a crass cold lonesome night, it will come again for her to warm the hearth of their invincible love for each other.

Love or like?

Sometimes we brood over silly things that prove a gradual decline of our conventional wisdom. This write-up however I would not consider a moot point doubting my maturity in relationships but a revelation. A friend of mine asked me to think about the difference between "liking" and "loving". Such closely connected words often push me towards the razor's edge where it becomes necessary to show my clarity over any subject, which calls out for a clear demonstration of a perspective. So I have tried to jot down the connectivity between the two similar feelings that are always in a competition to earn more emotional regards. 

Liking has always been considered to be a surface sensation at the first place that promotes a bond between two persons: be it friendship, acquaintance, love or dislike. Though ironic but true that two juxtaposite feelings walk parallel with a thin line in between held tightly by an adamant personality that sits inside everyone and has an adherence towards its instinctive traits. It refrains change until some strong influence seeps into it. To like someone is to open up for those positive changes that we admire in a person. To like someone is to long for more and more time to share the company, to explore more goodness, more pleasure that has been discovered outside recently. How great is to bear the feeling of liking where we are out on a journey of revelations and realizations. We come across so many surprises and facts about self and others, where we start off to make relations, where we start off to accept or reject the changes being offered. Liking is no less than or different from loving because both the feelings share equal greatness. The only thing that needs to be highlighted is that the greatness multiplies when one merges or transforms into the other. Love has been since ages defined in big terms wrapped in amazing emotional fringes, gained special corner in philosophies and received highest gestures among all ages. All because of a reason.

Love is a metaphor for blind faith. A belief that grows so strongly that it glorifies all the positivity inside a person making him/her king/queen of the world. At this stage he/she becomes the strongest creator enlightened with the sanctity of love. 

We say,

We love our parents; we never say we like our parents because it’s the indelible faith that prevails between a parent and a child helping in bringing their reflection in him. If we love someone, we love him whole like us. And here where liking someone becomes a milder tone where promises, acceptances, flexibility, apprehensions do come as reality checkers. Love is something that comes late, quite late after we cross all the stages and are ready to get into the water fearlessly even if we do not know how to swim with this hope that we will learn.

Love is not new. It is very old. Its age is reflected in its newness in every facet, every lesson. One can always love a person whom he likes and rise.

Hold your story

I was thinking to write over this issue since quite a long time but couldn't actually got a whip. Recently while taking a glance over a wheeler at Kanpur station I read Chetan's lines  that contained  the same expressions that wanted a channel through my words. Today the generation of youth has wings of fire with excellent confidence to achieve what they aspire for, a great deal of flexibility and openness for change with changing times and almost all essential attributes with which they can arrange every bit of their lives in a beautiful manner.

Moving ahead, being in love is the most sacred feeling a person hones making him self- motivated and inspired at all times. The fact that one is held in the continuous concern of someone gives a sense of completeness and being truly connected to one more strong and similar entity of universe. Now centering your life around love is the most beautiful thing one can do but making love your universe needs a brief introduction. Today the meaning and purview of love has changed and as a consequence the most tender and   bare age misses out their original instincts that calls out for fulfilling their dreams, reaching their goal and making their lives not love-locked but love-blessed. Having love in life is like having the strongest support with which one gains a lot confidence to confront any hurdle and proves that it compliments your life and helps in collating other tottered pieces. It pushes us forward towards what we truly are and what else we can add up to keep on rising along the stairs of self realization so that towards the dawn of life there is no regret and a lot of accomplishments that one weaved and aspired since he starts weaving dreams. Since everyone has got only one life it's ridiculously unfair to make it concealed for something that in real doesn't bear a virtue of control. I am writing this because deep down in our country the concept of controlling lives of others and surprisingly of the one whom you love the most sinks into a depressive territory where so many freedoms are getting negotiated in the name of some narrowed obligations.

Take a simple example of Indian bridal selection. It is really disheartening that today also people of India are held back with their conventionally unjustified demands of a bride that can feed their bellies, can adjust into their originality,  no matter how efficiently and beautifully she has been taking her life to all the levels of excellence at work. Well an independent, free-spirited and soulful girl has all rights reserved to maintain her thoughts and preserve her principles without any change and compromise for the sake of new relation because relations do not expect, they accept and they accept more.

Today the depictions of Indian society is creating a graveyard of free spirits in a face lifting, enormously unrealized number making this world devoid of the synergy it requires for a progressive and healthy place to live. It is a matter of disquiet that the issue is given least heed to the countries like India where human value has still got least priority when it comes to loosen some ulcerous knots in fossilized thinking that is eating away the soul of the nation. What picture are we creating when we choose a fair skinned, well virtue d  ductile girl over a successful, well accomplished, confident girl just because some people think they might not fit? What and why do we Indians aspire for fitting in and why not making bigger acceptances to enlarge the scope of positive and progressive changes which this nation is in dire need of.

It is a matter of great concern that India being a mosaic of emotional beehive that gives it an edge to come out as an ethical and spirited country still is caged in some really disgusting concepts that has hardened into the roots. 

Our friends and families need to understand that all we can follow is our hearts because spirits cannot be asked for any negotiation cause it will be like murdering one more soul. Feel high in love, try to rise in love cause we often do not get an idea when and how we lose some things that is ours. Stop following people because at the end when we you will stop you will feel that it's too late to revert back and by then you may be addicted towards getting the directions from outside  you when you had fair chances to make your own. Follow your dreams, preserve all the love that will always compliment you to reach out to them, celebrate lives, create a great life, a great story, a great and healthy relation with you and yours.