Nothing is left to say when it comes

It is almost impossible and beyond our imagination to assess the deadly pain of losing someone in front of our eyes when nothing can be done except watching incapably. Uttarakhand’s tragedy facelifts the tininess of mankind in front of nature’s ferocious form where in seconds everything just vanishes. A life ends just like that in no time. All we can do is moan about the nonnegotiable exchange of lives in lieu of the continued injustice that is being done for years with nature. The heartfelt experiences of people who have survived the havoc are either in complete shock or deep agony after encountering death so near and seeing helpless people drifting away in its claws. The death toll has reached thousands, many survived, many couldn’t bear the acute hunger for days or the chill of unpitying weather and surrendered. Kids, elderly, youth and women all are in the lots of corpses who waited for some miraculous help but couldn’t receive the luck of getting a chance to live again.

Every day we whine for several problems; professional, personal, emotional and sometimes feel like we are trapped in one of the biggest problems where it’s difficult to come out of it. We all have many concerns in life, many aspirations and expectation from this life, lot many dreams to fulfill, lot many issues to solve. How can such a loaded and incomplete life can be just taken away. Under the remains of flood lies the dead body of all such lives.

When I hear or see such instances of calamity and disaster, faces of my own people who are like essential bits of my life flash in front of my eyes and questions like ‘what if’ clobbers this mind. Held hands when suddenly slip away, when persons coming behind all of a sudden disappear, when hanging, striving persons just fall in nadir, when the river passing by doesn’t carry the quenching water rather stream of floating bodies of our own people…how can one gather the staggered courage to look forward with a hope to survive. Every witness, every presenter in the affected area unfortunately has the same scene in front of them. Many have already lost their families, their friends and are still trying hard for the life that has gone all empty stained with such a strong memory that will never fade.

Nature’s revenge never spares and now it seems it is too late to revert back to correct the mistakes. Mistakes that is so huge that it is impossible to assess their probable consequences. Seeing the devastation, it appears that we as a commoner should be just ready to get engulfed anytime in the nature’s womb. All I hope is to stay with people we love at the time we receive the final call.

As of now all we can do is to live this life fully, happily, without any complaints, without any fear with friends and family preserving the smiles, counting each day like a crowned day.

Can I say: Do not go, Please....

The injustice, the unfair surprises, the peevish destiny, the indelible memory, the mortal harassment, whatever one may call it but death remains unhampered, uninfluenced by the screams and deafening cries of all those who have lost their companions, families, relations. It makes us realize time and again just when everything in life goes smoothly that even when we do not want to think about it, it has the freedom to sweep anyone of us anytime, no matter what how much we are addicted to mortality.

Sometimes we hear or come to know about someone whom we just knew somewhere in the garden of yore and are actually not related, that he/she is no more.That feeling of restlessness towards an unattached person whose stories had no common chapters with that of mine indicates that the fear of loss is one of the greatest fears against which we do not have any weaponry to confront rather accept and then move on hiding it somewhere in the dark of our heart. It's like snatching the right of a person who might had to do many more and go far afield before having the final submission. The thought itself  makes us looking up for all our dearies without whom we cannot imagine our lives at all.

Death will not compromise, neither should life. Somethings cannot be changed like the uncertainties in life. Hearing the news of demise of someone who was as normal and hearty as we are today passes a heavy smoke down the spine that tomorrow or some day in unseen future ahead we might not be contributing to the energy this universe shares. Let it not call as a preparation for death but by not whining and not cringing for what we did or what we  not, we may start our preparation for a life. Being the custodian of our own life and respecting everything that comes along, let us try to overcome this fear.The strange human heart has the strongest fractals potent enough to absorb every vile event, drink every poison and still remain hopeful that tomorrow will be brighter. 

I wish I could feel the fragments of those lost in the clime, gone forever, whose faces will never appear again, whose fragrances still linger in the memory lanes of their dear ones and whose influences have brought changes.I wish all of us to have a great life and anytime if anything unpredictable happens to anyone just consider it as another sign of life that it is never alone,its end is glued to it.

Live happy.............

Just read somewhere:" Life asked death" why do people love me and hate you?"; Death replied," It's because you are a beautiful lie and I am a painful truth."

I do not agree to the life part in this quote but still believe that yes life is beautiful and definitely death is painful.

Dissonance theory

The monsoon has superficially started that was supposed to bring lots of wetness to wash away the skin of gloominess that I had since last few months out of seasonal boredom and continuous longing for a big reason to cheer up. But unfortunately due to the meagre mercy of clouds or do not exactly know why the raindrops couldnt create those many vibrations this time. I am missing my regular visiting to my blog and sharing many thoughts that came, stayed for my write-up but eventually slipped away from my mind seeing my dilatory attitudes. The reasons are many, some are important and some are too much important that cannot be moved out of the personal corner.

Neways I had thought of writing about cognitive dissonance since long cause I fear many a times that I might be suffering from it. 

The sudden loss of long nurtured beliefs under the piles of the incidents we were in and the decisions we made when leads to a phase where we stand dilapidated, lost and weak is the spell of dissonance theory.This theory lies as a mental crank erasing all the glories of past which were achieved from the principles that today lie in the perimeter of suspicion.It is hard to accept that what we had been thinking and idolizing throughout our lives so far is actually a fallacy and we start looking at ourselves as a dupe that lived moments whose charm now seems vicarious.We start recalling people we confronted , mistakes that we didnt do, so called right things that we actually did, all with some handful principles which today somehow appear unclear and a bit wrong. The toughest confession of a person is that he was wrong and most of the time if we see we are involved in just justifying our beliefs. Our deeds, our sppech, our behaviour and our gestures are reflection of what we believe and what we tend to believe. Even if we like others' beliefs  that might be different from ours it takes a lot of time to mend into one and change the long lived fossilised mind. The flexibility that we often lack in accepting and moving on with a new perception often leads to a suffocating frustration twisting our confidence over making a firm decision. The cognitive dissonance becomes worse when it starts affecting our approach  towards life that we always wanted to live. In no case this stage should persist inside cause the more one refraines himself from being a changed person, the more he would remain entangled in his fussy interior dragging him towards an unlikely entity. Life should be full of acceptance, acceptance to whatever comes in way.

I think this theory is too common and every second person who is an observer of his own life might feel the same way this theory makes us to feel. The good thing is that we are potent enough today to feel the things happening to us cause sometimes vacuum of thoughts stretches its nulliness so wide that mind becomes quiet. So try hard to keep  your passion alive that would speak to you in several ways, in several languages. Try hard to be talkative to self cause it is the best place where you are safe and not being judged by anyone else but you.

My Fear

My fear of getting all alone hoovered by an unknown vacuum at one point of time intimidates me making me more worried cause it is a nightmare to see me without any thought in mind.All I can imagine my state of flux at such a time has been described here but I know if it would be,it would be much more gall than this............

Insinuated by the heart and rebuked by the soul,

I stood like no one when I deceived.

The day of my denial to what they spoke

Was the day I killed my dream.

The pieces of past like broken mirrors

Showed my face like a traitor

And turned me cold like a body of dead

Without any hope, without a narrator.

 

The one fine string that connects with sanctity

Is spun by the fiber of dreams.

Which gets stronger with our efforts,

Makes us rich everyday it seems.

I enjoyed, I gained while living with it

Since over the years it irked me.

Never was I at rest and peace,

Which looked like days of ecstasy.

I am a killer and a stealer,

Who defied my real being.

I am living like an impostor with a purloined soul

Whose dreams and desires can never be seen.

I wish I could drive back in the time

And fill in the vacuum I hired.

And create new dreams to see and cherish

For they are the ones to inspire.

gone in the wind...

Rust and dust lied deep inside;
rusted were his steps
and
dusted were his thoughts.
To douse the flames of failure,
he tried to pull out  himself
from
 his life getting bigger and unmeasurable,
and leave behind
the agony, the fluster and acerbic stress.

He was crying with his reflections since long
but today

was mum
without any hitch and fear and dismay.
like a silent sea
 without any urge to touch the moon.
Wished to end up things in a better manner soon
and experiment one more time.
but surrendered
before the gale of his instinctive voice,
that tried hard to cling to the things slipping away,
listen to the lullaby heard long back,
and say

To  all those whom he loved and still does,
he is going to wither and break down into pieces
get wet in the mud of divine and then write down

the unheard words.
To look down again  and ask,what wrong did he do?

and
he walked away in silence

 without saying a word,
without the consent and without any prophecy.
must be hard for him

to leave people and meet the infinite
but is harder for all those 
who are left with the  poverty of his destiny.

Many facts in life are unbearable and too bitter to live with especially then when our strings are attached to some of their corners.We are left with no choice other than keep on standing and looking at the things that just happened and robbed all our peace and the fact that we couldn't stop it makes us further weak and helpless.This write is dedicated to all those souls resting in peace(I guess)who had also no choice but walk away from this biased and illogical life that might have created umpteen confusions that they preferred to leave the wale of tears than to confront them.But whatever they did and thought and decided no less made feel us forlorn and deserted.Their absence is felt.

I am sad...

I dont know what to say.
I never knew what to say.

When I lie down under the pool of stars,
All I can think is You didnt stay.

 We walked in the rain with bare foot.

We saw and felt how heaven appears.
You left me alone in the middle of the road.
Now I walk in the rain to hide my tears.

In the spring when flowers fell on my face'
you touched my cheeks to sweep them aside.
I am lying on the grass quiet and forlorn,
where once you kissed me and held by your side.



On the day when we went for a drive,
A tickling silence densed our love.

Today also a silence prevails,
ready for my peace to flail and shove.

Comatose………

Despite being quite aware of an undelible fact that people die and their appearance vanish like the evanescent rays of the sun at dusk, we fear. Dead people just go away leaving behind a vaccuum of memories.The feeling is unbearable.
Addicted to the habit of getting used to relationships is life’s best shot to agree categorically to its unique and sometimes illogical framework. Everybody has a different story with a tinge of happiness and scad of sorrows as they may say where thousands struggled,lived and died. Man since his childhood ties knots and make commitments bloating the circle of kith and kin from families to friends , alliances to colleagues and sometimes even anonymous bonds that are rife ignorant of the upkeeps in life. It is not at all impossible to live without all of them but it is quite difficult not to find them around and to love life again when it seems effete.


Dedicated to all those people whom we have lost but whose promises would live diluting the peevish strokes of life seizing their fragments in the clime forever.


Eyes poured on the day crowned.

He aired his cap ,made a rhetoric sound.

The blaze of pride and aurora of glory

Marked the beginning of a tragic story.

                                                             Life is restive and expects the same.

                                                              But never get trapped in its language lame.

                                                              It has wrapped all in it: the good and the best,

                                                               Flaunts only a part ,never talks about the rest.

It is hard to leave home as always

When the weeping faces beseech the days.

To run fast and faster as guiles,

Wiping their saline and bring back the smiles.

                                                                      With all the blessings one embarks upon.

                                                                        Life goes on with days and darks along.
                                                                        
                                                                        Tieing the knots with promises to keep,

                                                                        Thousands of dreams to see and to leap.

Green turns the heart with a naïve inside.

Novice of the wrongs he thinks to be right.

With a happy family and circle of friends

He could live up the dreams with all messy bends.

                                                                           Saviour is he and spirits are high

                                                            Thinking with the hallowed wings of happiness,he could fly.

                                                                         Children’s eyes shimmering with desires.

                                                                         The only thing heart always aspires.
A song of desire and dreams and hope.

A roseate feeling being together to dope.

One sings a lot jauntily in the breeze.

Under the blanket all bliss to seize.

                                                                Late night thoughts with a drowsy note ,

                                                                Whispers to swim into dreams and clothe

                                                                The bare vision of the day coming next,

                                                                 Will it be great or once again vexed?

Every goodbye and a waving hand

Invites their return back to the land

It happens,

When people go and never come from the past

Leaving behind a wraith vision of the last

They cry and scream and weep and glance

Wishing to rewind the time at once.

Remains a soul connected though in comatose

Memories become the only bridge to close…………