Just imagine!!

Today I saw water breathing. Yeah really it was. While dechoking a service water line at my workplace, the drained water kissed the muddy pathway and carved out its own channel of drain. Since the water was in motion, it perhaps swept off the thin bottom layer of the soil creating tiny vortex ending up into bubbles that swam on the surface.Those bubbles were in number but were bursting quickly creating as many ripples as were they making the channel a corrugated stream.

The gift of imagination is precious. I am not self-aggrandizing myself but just putting up a selfless thought. Keep a doodle and ask someone to frame different pictures in mind. There will be a number of illustrations depending upon the way we have trained our mind and thoughts. Amidst the busy lives, we often create an incessant momentum where the link with the inner self is lost awhile till we take a moment every time to retreat. That moment may be very short or just in the form of a deep sigh provided it should release all the knots from the mind and cleanse the bowl before it spills.

Whenever I go out, meet people, hear them out, I conclude that I am not very fond of socializing. There are so many emotions attacking straightaway from their words, some good some bad some harsh some funny some astonishing and some unique creating an instant emotion in return in our minds.Mine is already filled up with my own gnarled up questions that often it feels clumsy to accommodate inputs from outside. 

Meditation is a way to focus all the scattered bits at one place and make something brighter and clear out of it. I guess it may be done in several ways. The true and regular practitioners might have developed an inherent appeal to be at self in hitch hike conditions unlikely people like us who understand its importance and crave for it only then when their soul seems to be are in trouble. Putting right colors on the canvas is a kind of meditation for me. Writing this post that is entertaining my old me is a kind of meditation for me. All that shuts my mind for a while seems to be a meditation for me because it is the only time where it remains quiet.

Going to sleep now. Ancora imparo has been lonely since few months. So I guess I shall re start my frequent postings. Till my next post keep imagining and keep retreating!! cheers!!

The inside upheaval

A day off is also not helping. In the world of adulthood where we are bound by a categorical routine to go to a place where what we do feels like an act of drudgery, something which is not from our heart. A lot goes in the mind, settles down, rise again and settle down yet again. It hurts to admit that nothing is being done to break the continuous whining of the instinct which raises its head time and again to exclaim that something somewhere needs to be changed. This self captivation which is refraining my freedom of thoughts and freedom of being my own is really frustrating and often steals all confidence and faith gradually. The only thing that helps or better say acts like a healer is my words which ease the entire conundrum by contemplating the tangled wisps of thoughts.What not is to write. Everyday we experience so many events, some bad some good. If all is written the volume will be huge. But we don't. Words are spilled only when mind gets gorged enough to explode and just before the upheaval it clears off the margin a bit till the next time.

There are so many Whys and Hows. Life is running fast asking and challenging to match up its pace but unluckily again and again I feel like falling behind. Time is there for me offering its hand to jump and take a leap beyond the environment I want to change but that threshold seems afar. The only fear that remains behind is that what if this dormancy becomes a part of me. Riddles to solve, to bloom my soul, to feel like never before, to find the unknown............................all to do here before I leave ..

Wedding poses time crunch

I did not shop this much before as I am doing since last couple of months and  surprisingly the list is not ceasing rather adding new elements with every new buy. Actually all accusations should fall on my heart that has gone crazy behind the sparkly, colorful, traditional and totally Indian stuffs that would make me look like a royal princess at that night. I have got so many things in line : Bridal Jewellery which I wanted to be Kundan but ended with Kundan-Choker set; Bridal Lehenga which I wanted to be fully traditional with broad and wide laces and heavy embroidery but ended with quite a simple one with pearly patterns and elements of velvet along the border. This lehenga gave me many shocks with this thought that did I hurry in taking this one of the most important stuffs that would outline my first impression as a bride before the world present there. But now when it is taken I am feeling it will look nice.

I guess I went with the flow again. I have been so busy in wedding site and in customizing some feasible parts of my wedding plans that I could not write much here. Actually I all of a sudden fell into relationship. I would lie if I won't say that in real sense I chose to fall in the relationship which stole quite a chunk of my time which I used to dedicate to my pals(pen, diary, paints, brushes etc) and gave it to him. Have seen and experienced many new things here and hope to witness even more to keep alive the curiosity to explore. 

I have still in my account a lot pending jobs to finish among which important ones are Vitaan's article and drawing to finalize and "D Painting" to complete before I retire for wedding. Time crunch cannot be felt better than this where every time the list of jobs seem extrapolated adding new items.

I realized all these days how people used to say that I will never know how these months will pass and will be standing at the door of my wedding. Really time flew like wind and this year passed in a flash. But this flash whirled up a lot of events...really a lott..........I such a time my deep sighs help me a lot to breathe out the weariness out of all such rushes................

Well these days either I am becoming an acute observant or really time is moving so fast that I am unable to sit awhile to think why am I running? After months I got a chance and a tendency actually to visit my own blog and create a post! With barrage of new things coming up I fear to lose the hands of some old keepers which always assisted me to let down the load of my estranged pile of thoughts. But I believe that with my fighter 'me' though I would no doubt cringe about the self created boredom and the gush of changes but the end I would return back here where I am still there, unaltered.
Anyways, so many things happened while I was away. Many presentations and of course lot many appraisals boring further holes in my invisibility, plenty paintings, very few writings, rife tours for wedding plans and overall a well occupied mind pleading every now and then to have peace. But a guess as soon as I realized that I have grown up I was struck by one more realization that time never returns, it flies leaving behind a stale smell of the past. So I try to write them down and capture their freshness as much as I can.
Durga Pooja '2013 offered us a tight schedule for decoration and left me with two giant size canvases which finally got completed in only 7 days(my personal record).
When the canvas came, I was really  thoughtful what can be made here. But finally I got a real nice painting. The journey however could not be captured after every turn but I would like to share the ones I clicked.

The final picture looked just elegant and glamorous flaunting all its intricacies in the chamber of god.

The second one felt a bit injustice due to time crisis. But still it gave a strong competition to the first one and appeared as one powerful presentation.

I always wanted to paint a nice and impressive and expressive silhouette. My wish got fulfilled and this painting gathered several fans who drooled along the roaring lion.

This time due to umpteen engagements I could not visit the pandal often but had this satisfaction that my paintings were there to engrave all the events. Quite colorful decor with umbrella ceilings within a tight schedule, the group seemed extremely happy..

Reverie

Well When I started with this work, I genuinely thought it's going to be just like any other nature painting that meets the same fate as some of my other paintings i.e to stay hanging on my walls prompting me to paint a better one. But this came out real well like the ones that let me usually admire myself for the colorful piece of art.

I really wish to wander across such jungles without any fear of tomorrow that always bring a lot of apprehensions. A place where I could find peace on the ground, in the air, among the trees. A place where I could easily retrieve the lost, forgotten pages of my own life which often are turned but are left unread in lieu of the upcoming events which seem glossy and luring. One can easily go back and travel through time with the companions like elements of nature which contain and treasure all your memories. To wash off the dusty layers of social hangovers and take a time off from the diurnal occupation sometimes it becomes essential to regain the reverie..... 

The colors are vivid enough to brighten the dried eyes and the lampposts glimmer to enlighten the entire night and witness the retreat....

Nothing is left to say when it comes

It is almost impossible and beyond our imagination to assess the deadly pain of losing someone in front of our eyes when nothing can be done except watching incapably. Uttarakhand’s tragedy facelifts the tininess of mankind in front of nature’s ferocious form where in seconds everything just vanishes. A life ends just like that in no time. All we can do is moan about the nonnegotiable exchange of lives in lieu of the continued injustice that is being done for years with nature. The heartfelt experiences of people who have survived the havoc are either in complete shock or deep agony after encountering death so near and seeing helpless people drifting away in its claws. The death toll has reached thousands, many survived, many couldn’t bear the acute hunger for days or the chill of unpitying weather and surrendered. Kids, elderly, youth and women all are in the lots of corpses who waited for some miraculous help but couldn’t receive the luck of getting a chance to live again.

Every day we whine for several problems; professional, personal, emotional and sometimes feel like we are trapped in one of the biggest problems where it’s difficult to come out of it. We all have many concerns in life, many aspirations and expectation from this life, lot many dreams to fulfill, lot many issues to solve. How can such a loaded and incomplete life can be just taken away. Under the remains of flood lies the dead body of all such lives.

When I hear or see such instances of calamity and disaster, faces of my own people who are like essential bits of my life flash in front of my eyes and questions like ‘what if’ clobbers this mind. Held hands when suddenly slip away, when persons coming behind all of a sudden disappear, when hanging, striving persons just fall in nadir, when the river passing by doesn’t carry the quenching water rather stream of floating bodies of our own people…how can one gather the staggered courage to look forward with a hope to survive. Every witness, every presenter in the affected area unfortunately has the same scene in front of them. Many have already lost their families, their friends and are still trying hard for the life that has gone all empty stained with such a strong memory that will never fade.

Nature’s revenge never spares and now it seems it is too late to revert back to correct the mistakes. Mistakes that is so huge that it is impossible to assess their probable consequences. Seeing the devastation, it appears that we as a commoner should be just ready to get engulfed anytime in the nature’s womb. All I hope is to stay with people we love at the time we receive the final call.

As of now all we can do is to live this life fully, happily, without any complaints, without any fear with friends and family preserving the smiles, counting each day like a crowned day.

Start off

A really really long time. Though Internet and soft screen has captivated the leisure of a common man making him occupied for at least 12-14 hours whether it is at work or at home, we still cringe for a pen and paper for a rich outflow of thoughts that still hesitate to get typed on the screen. But how often do we pick up a pen to fill at least one page with some conventional chattering of mind. At least I confess that have become too weak or I can say departed. Even it seems tiresome to think what might be the reason behind this chronic death of expression that used to be very fluent and ever ready to get inked. Don't I have time? I think I have. Don't I have urge? I think I have that too then what is the reason that I keep on procrastinating my stuffs in view of nothing.At the end of everyday if I calculate what effective(in my terms of course) have I done, I Often remain answer less. I know that my mind spins a lot and sometimes it gets so entangled in its own cobweb that it looks like a burden to loosen the multi-tasking approach. The things accumulate and everything appears so heavy and onerous just because I couldn't follow time and its demand.

It's this time when I realize that time flies and never comes back.So sometimes even when we don't feel like plunging ahead for some work that makes us light, we should try to just do it at least to store that goodwill feeling for the times of blue.

I was scared to find one day that my diary is not full yet even after two years mocking at me for my alienation.I do possess similar grievances from myself at times and try to polish them with small appearances as a writer or a painter for consolation. But I know these tiny attentions are ephemeral to appease the complaining soul. Soon I switch back to the old track of whining.

I know I cannot receive a continuous inspiration from self always until I respond honestly to what my instinct says to me. It says, do what yo like at the time you like.Do not compromise with 'your things' that give you joy a midst chaotic materialism. Always take a time off when you feel it's really needed to come inside you and talk and have fun and have the pleasure of being just self.

See we often get attracted towards an article headed something like 'ways to get happiness'or 'how can you make yourself happy'..Do all such articles demonstrate something that we don't know or something that we often forget. Sitting inside the four walls we lose the charm we used to have when our hands were not tied with machines and electronic gadgets. After spending whole of a day in office we do not bother to come out under sky making us even more cocooned. We feel connected to the world the moment we connect our internet modem and start receiving virtual conversations forgetting that one world that used to be quite large full of talks is getting all diminished day by day.

I hope all these occupational hazards once realized would be soon attended and I will get back my composure despite the emotional effects released by big changes that I often exaggerate ...............