A hop

I wish to lie down
Under the sky full of stars
that often look like me
a heart full of scars.

A far fetched dream

to sew the tottered soul

And breathe a lot of sighs in

the chest that bores a hole.

Nebulous seems my life

dodging from a fall

A bliss that is awaited

to make a happy stall.

Waiting is not fair,
when all we can do is do
Collect all stars, make them shine
Make the life full of clues.

No more am I tired,

No more am I blue

What I did and What I will

is where my heart takes me to. 

The swing of gall and gag

that flies from down to the top

takes me through the clouds overhead

where it's always fun to bounce and hop.

Dedicated to  the regular visit of mood swings that take us to a tour to self realisation where we feel happy and sad, low and raised, robbed and filled all at the same time. It is all about how we keep on hopping between the two juxtopposite feelings which in real sense lie at a common conjecture and in no time we revert back to where we really want to. Now the same can be read again(6 stanzas but 3 in a row for being blue and 3 in a row for being blessed).

Dissonance theory

The monsoon has superficially started that was supposed to bring lots of wetness to wash away the skin of gloominess that I had since last few months out of seasonal boredom and continuous longing for a big reason to cheer up. But unfortunately due to the meagre mercy of clouds or do not exactly know why the raindrops couldnt create those many vibrations this time. I am missing my regular visiting to my blog and sharing many thoughts that came, stayed for my write-up but eventually slipped away from my mind seeing my dilatory attitudes. The reasons are many, some are important and some are too much important that cannot be moved out of the personal corner.

Neways I had thought of writing about cognitive dissonance since long cause I fear many a times that I might be suffering from it. 

The sudden loss of long nurtured beliefs under the piles of the incidents we were in and the decisions we made when leads to a phase where we stand dilapidated, lost and weak is the spell of dissonance theory.This theory lies as a mental crank erasing all the glories of past which were achieved from the principles that today lie in the perimeter of suspicion.It is hard to accept that what we had been thinking and idolizing throughout our lives so far is actually a fallacy and we start looking at ourselves as a dupe that lived moments whose charm now seems vicarious.We start recalling people we confronted , mistakes that we didnt do, so called right things that we actually did, all with some handful principles which today somehow appear unclear and a bit wrong. The toughest confession of a person is that he was wrong and most of the time if we see we are involved in just justifying our beliefs. Our deeds, our sppech, our behaviour and our gestures are reflection of what we believe and what we tend to believe. Even if we like others' beliefs  that might be different from ours it takes a lot of time to mend into one and change the long lived fossilised mind. The flexibility that we often lack in accepting and moving on with a new perception often leads to a suffocating frustration twisting our confidence over making a firm decision. The cognitive dissonance becomes worse when it starts affecting our approach  towards life that we always wanted to live. In no case this stage should persist inside cause the more one refraines himself from being a changed person, the more he would remain entangled in his fussy interior dragging him towards an unlikely entity. Life should be full of acceptance, acceptance to whatever comes in way.

I think this theory is too common and every second person who is an observer of his own life might feel the same way this theory makes us to feel. The good thing is that we are potent enough today to feel the things happening to us cause sometimes vacuum of thoughts stretches its nulliness so wide that mind becomes quiet. So try hard to keep  your passion alive that would speak to you in several ways, in several languages. Try hard to be talkative to self cause it is the best place where you are safe and not being judged by anyone else but you.

Tango in Paris

It rained all night and the lights dimmed
the floating shadows on the streets
made some stories that lived for long
in the memories, under the sheets

They danced like one

closing their minds

opening their hearts

to the love that binds.

The lamp that shivers

in the cold of the rain

Lived through the night

till the moon got wane.

Add caption

For the one we love like always....

We love you Dadi, we have always and we will forever.

How far have you gone?

That no one can see through.

But we all have a bit of you,

That still smells like you.

We all crossed the stairs of age

By just holding your hand.

Today when you are not here

We still wonder how do we stand.

We know you are here

with us to guide and to bless

How fair we play our roles

in the life you instilled in us........

We all are your kind reflection

The one we have in mind.

The one you shared for years

The one you left behind.

Befuddled

I am totally off the line, I think I will mess it up and I cannot everytime look up for a miracle to ease things for me. The confusion should succumb to death inside me without affecting anyone outside and for that I am even more confused.Things are becoming subjective and the questions entwined with fuzzy answers.Past is easy to remember but sometimes present is hard to live and god knows what is in the future.A cheers to this situation that tests the stamina of my will to struggle and strive to have a smooth present that still though would be no fun.

Feelin good'

When I look at the clock and it strikes 1:00AM and I still find myself into the books,I feel I am still a student trying hard not to carryover today's task and spoil tommorrow.Ah it has been more than three weeks,I haven't touched my brush and felt my paints on the fingers.But to pay right off waiting for the next work in oil paint as a novice but really want to be an eager-beaver to adventure and experiment in the new try.Let us see how the first one comes out.Two medium sized canvas are ready but would be brought in use after few trials.

Still studying.....................hoping that when I will wake up tommorrrow,I might feel light.Let us see the record of today till when I stretch on my notebook......It went on till 3:30..My eye bags are getting heavy..`But enjoyed the study-ride after so long,Finally getting into slumber and wish to have a nice sunday!!!
I didnt touch the book today in the hangover of yesterday's night ride I guess and hoping to have two nights in a row but seems hard.Monday blues are all set to invade and making me feel dizzy from now itself.Well headlines today also couldn't cheer me up except the trend of world's most read list of 10 books.Though out of 10 I have read only one but it was intresting to find that all of them were in my wish list since earlier.Putting up the blog post about my reluctance towards the books is filling me in with a tinge of guilt, so I better continue with my dire efforts to maintain the academic connection and let us see how this week goes....(needs to be a power-through week).

The duo

Sunlight mingles with the dew in the morn

As a mark of love and passion that is born

Between the two that are different in make,

One in the sky, other on a leaf in the lake.