Wedding poses time crunch

I did not shop this much before as I am doing since last couple of months and  surprisingly the list is not ceasing rather adding new elements with every new buy. Actually all accusations should fall on my heart that has gone crazy behind the sparkly, colorful, traditional and totally Indian stuffs that would make me look like a royal princess at that night. I have got so many things in line : Bridal Jewellery which I wanted to be Kundan but ended with Kundan-Choker set; Bridal Lehenga which I wanted to be fully traditional with broad and wide laces and heavy embroidery but ended with quite a simple one with pearly patterns and elements of velvet along the border. This lehenga gave me many shocks with this thought that did I hurry in taking this one of the most important stuffs that would outline my first impression as a bride before the world present there. But now when it is taken I am feeling it will look nice.

I guess I went with the flow again. I have been so busy in wedding site and in customizing some feasible parts of my wedding plans that I could not write much here. Actually I all of a sudden fell into relationship. I would lie if I won't say that in real sense I chose to fall in the relationship which stole quite a chunk of my time which I used to dedicate to my pals(pen, diary, paints, brushes etc) and gave it to him. Have seen and experienced many new things here and hope to witness even more to keep alive the curiosity to explore. 

I have still in my account a lot pending jobs to finish among which important ones are Vitaan's article and drawing to finalize and "D Painting" to complete before I retire for wedding. Time crunch cannot be felt better than this where every time the list of jobs seem extrapolated adding new items.

I realized all these days how people used to say that I will never know how these months will pass and will be standing at the door of my wedding. Really time flew like wind and this year passed in a flash. But this flash whirled up a lot of events...really a lott..........I such a time my deep sighs help me a lot to breathe out the weariness out of all such rushes................

Well these days either I am becoming an acute observant or really time is moving so fast that I am unable to sit awhile to think why am I running? After months I got a chance and a tendency actually to visit my own blog and create a post! With barrage of new things coming up I fear to lose the hands of some old keepers which always assisted me to let down the load of my estranged pile of thoughts. But I believe that with my fighter 'me' though I would no doubt cringe about the self created boredom and the gush of changes but the end I would return back here where I am still there, unaltered.
Anyways, so many things happened while I was away. Many presentations and of course lot many appraisals boring further holes in my invisibility, plenty paintings, very few writings, rife tours for wedding plans and overall a well occupied mind pleading every now and then to have peace. But a guess as soon as I realized that I have grown up I was struck by one more realization that time never returns, it flies leaving behind a stale smell of the past. So I try to write them down and capture their freshness as much as I can.
Durga Pooja '2013 offered us a tight schedule for decoration and left me with two giant size canvases which finally got completed in only 7 days(my personal record).
When the canvas came, I was really  thoughtful what can be made here. But finally I got a real nice painting. The journey however could not be captured after every turn but I would like to share the ones I clicked.

The final picture looked just elegant and glamorous flaunting all its intricacies in the chamber of god.

The second one felt a bit injustice due to time crisis. But still it gave a strong competition to the first one and appeared as one powerful presentation.

I always wanted to paint a nice and impressive and expressive silhouette. My wish got fulfilled and this painting gathered several fans who drooled along the roaring lion.

This time due to umpteen engagements I could not visit the pandal often but had this satisfaction that my paintings were there to engrave all the events. Quite colorful decor with umbrella ceilings within a tight schedule, the group seemed extremely happy..

Reverie

Well When I started with this work, I genuinely thought it's going to be just like any other nature painting that meets the same fate as some of my other paintings i.e to stay hanging on my walls prompting me to paint a better one. But this came out real well like the ones that let me usually admire myself for the colorful piece of art.

I really wish to wander across such jungles without any fear of tomorrow that always bring a lot of apprehensions. A place where I could find peace on the ground, in the air, among the trees. A place where I could easily retrieve the lost, forgotten pages of my own life which often are turned but are left unread in lieu of the upcoming events which seem glossy and luring. One can easily go back and travel through time with the companions like elements of nature which contain and treasure all your memories. To wash off the dusty layers of social hangovers and take a time off from the diurnal occupation sometimes it becomes essential to regain the reverie..... 

The colors are vivid enough to brighten the dried eyes and the lampposts glimmer to enlighten the entire night and witness the retreat....

Nothing is left to say when it comes

It is almost impossible and beyond our imagination to assess the deadly pain of losing someone in front of our eyes when nothing can be done except watching incapably. Uttarakhand’s tragedy facelifts the tininess of mankind in front of nature’s ferocious form where in seconds everything just vanishes. A life ends just like that in no time. All we can do is moan about the nonnegotiable exchange of lives in lieu of the continued injustice that is being done for years with nature. The heartfelt experiences of people who have survived the havoc are either in complete shock or deep agony after encountering death so near and seeing helpless people drifting away in its claws. The death toll has reached thousands, many survived, many couldn’t bear the acute hunger for days or the chill of unpitying weather and surrendered. Kids, elderly, youth and women all are in the lots of corpses who waited for some miraculous help but couldn’t receive the luck of getting a chance to live again.

Every day we whine for several problems; professional, personal, emotional and sometimes feel like we are trapped in one of the biggest problems where it’s difficult to come out of it. We all have many concerns in life, many aspirations and expectation from this life, lot many dreams to fulfill, lot many issues to solve. How can such a loaded and incomplete life can be just taken away. Under the remains of flood lies the dead body of all such lives.

When I hear or see such instances of calamity and disaster, faces of my own people who are like essential bits of my life flash in front of my eyes and questions like ‘what if’ clobbers this mind. Held hands when suddenly slip away, when persons coming behind all of a sudden disappear, when hanging, striving persons just fall in nadir, when the river passing by doesn’t carry the quenching water rather stream of floating bodies of our own people…how can one gather the staggered courage to look forward with a hope to survive. Every witness, every presenter in the affected area unfortunately has the same scene in front of them. Many have already lost their families, their friends and are still trying hard for the life that has gone all empty stained with such a strong memory that will never fade.

Nature’s revenge never spares and now it seems it is too late to revert back to correct the mistakes. Mistakes that is so huge that it is impossible to assess their probable consequences. Seeing the devastation, it appears that we as a commoner should be just ready to get engulfed anytime in the nature’s womb. All I hope is to stay with people we love at the time we receive the final call.

As of now all we can do is to live this life fully, happily, without any complaints, without any fear with friends and family preserving the smiles, counting each day like a crowned day.

Start off

A really really long time. Though Internet and soft screen has captivated the leisure of a common man making him occupied for at least 12-14 hours whether it is at work or at home, we still cringe for a pen and paper for a rich outflow of thoughts that still hesitate to get typed on the screen. But how often do we pick up a pen to fill at least one page with some conventional chattering of mind. At least I confess that have become too weak or I can say departed. Even it seems tiresome to think what might be the reason behind this chronic death of expression that used to be very fluent and ever ready to get inked. Don't I have time? I think I have. Don't I have urge? I think I have that too then what is the reason that I keep on procrastinating my stuffs in view of nothing.At the end of everyday if I calculate what effective(in my terms of course) have I done, I Often remain answer less. I know that my mind spins a lot and sometimes it gets so entangled in its own cobweb that it looks like a burden to loosen the multi-tasking approach. The things accumulate and everything appears so heavy and onerous just because I couldn't follow time and its demand.

It's this time when I realize that time flies and never comes back.So sometimes even when we don't feel like plunging ahead for some work that makes us light, we should try to just do it at least to store that goodwill feeling for the times of blue.

I was scared to find one day that my diary is not full yet even after two years mocking at me for my alienation.I do possess similar grievances from myself at times and try to polish them with small appearances as a writer or a painter for consolation. But I know these tiny attentions are ephemeral to appease the complaining soul. Soon I switch back to the old track of whining.

I know I cannot receive a continuous inspiration from self always until I respond honestly to what my instinct says to me. It says, do what yo like at the time you like.Do not compromise with 'your things' that give you joy a midst chaotic materialism. Always take a time off when you feel it's really needed to come inside you and talk and have fun and have the pleasure of being just self.

See we often get attracted towards an article headed something like 'ways to get happiness'or 'how can you make yourself happy'..Do all such articles demonstrate something that we don't know or something that we often forget. Sitting inside the four walls we lose the charm we used to have when our hands were not tied with machines and electronic gadgets. After spending whole of a day in office we do not bother to come out under sky making us even more cocooned. We feel connected to the world the moment we connect our internet modem and start receiving virtual conversations forgetting that one world that used to be quite large full of talks is getting all diminished day by day.

I hope all these occupational hazards once realized would be soon attended and I will get back my composure despite the emotional effects released by big changes that I often exaggerate ...............

Moonlit Whisperer-2

Where this earth ends and moon shines,

Where we breathe and this nature sighs.

Where the sky spreads its widest wings

Where the melody rises from the amorous strings.

Where silence speaks and words follow.

Where I foster your soul, full, complete, thorough.

Where my hands are held into yours.

Where I could listen what fate stores.

Where there is a sound of only breaths.

Where you and me are held in a single faith.

There I want to be with you.

There I want to live with you.

I do

I don't believe in luck

But when you touch the lines of my palm, I do

I don't paint much these days,

But when my colors blend with your thoughts, I do.

I don't look out for what I left,

But when I find you today with me and miss you yesterday, I do.

I don't look at the mirror most times,

But when I find some places where you touched, I do.

I don't make stories that seem unreal,

But when there is a fable of you and me, I do.

I don't get recover from my sleep often

But when you come near to wake me up everyday, I do.

I don't love things changing,

But when the change holds your hand and I agree, I do.

I don't know how to open my heart before you

But when you come like a sight, and when you place a kiss,I do.                                                                                                                                                        

New colors

Spring and She

Steps together

Fluffy canary

 

A travelogue

Well after a ton of time I have come here and it seems just like others I have too turned into just a visitor to this blog.After these many tacit days that hold a lot many events to be described here and i dont know really where to start from. Though I have so many topics to discuss here and knowing this that due to my reluctance and lack of time of course I would say, my vocab must have got a thin coat of rust that needs to be scraped off to do justice with these jumping thoughts.

Let me start with the awesome trip to Kerela, though it was meant for an official tour but the gestures and the hospitality, the ambiance and the weather, the colors and the humidity, the rhythm of Kerela mesmerized all of us and we felt it to be really God's Own country.

 Well when Kerela is named, we get a picture in mind: lots of coconut trees but since Coimbatore airport till the hotel in the city we could hardly get such a rich picture. We were little disappointed of not having any peculiar touch of kerela when already 2-3 days had passed during the training program. Worst of all, we searched for coconut water as well but couldn't find it in Kerela!!! That was really frustrating on our part since we had gathered nothing till now to flaunt about us being in heavenly place. It looked like an ordinary city with all brand outlets, same glittering roads at night, same crowd and same speed as we get in any north indian city: the only difference was the closing of shops by 8:00 PM, all people in white lungis and cotton attires, big juice shops with delicious shakes and juices to fight against the humid weather and the foreign and mixed language in people. Else was same.

After 5 days of complete disaster, we had plans to go to Munar with a hope to collect at least some memories(if we get) for taking them back to the routined life as a wet vestige.

Fighting against my instinctive whining over going back home out of continued sore throat, homesickness and strongest urge to get a glimpse of someone, I finally decided to make my trip and that was really one good decision because what was rewarded by nature there to us was really worth and priceless.

On the way to Munar via road trip is an exclusive feeling since it seems that the running roads leaving behind tall trees are greeting and creating new landscapes near, very near,for us each one with lovely surprises. Throughout the journey our mouths were open in awe, we didnt know how much more to get surprised and stunned. The best part of road trips is that we can stop anywhere we want to have customized memories and cherish trivial but precious things. 

Off the road, in the jungle, exploring ways to waterfalls: all seem so adventurous and gives an excitement to discover something that has been hidden somewhere in the nature. 

The game of such a treasure hunt takes us back to the days when we used to get excited and extremely happy with any exploration, any discovery that used to touch our inner goddesses. We were literally jumping and shouting and screaming and laughing after so many days as we found some beautiful nature shots where every tree, drop of every waterfall, every stone and every pebble were supporting as if were waiting for us and are equally delighted and excited having us there.

The lush meadows of rich tea estates and the length of the trees made us realize how rich and healthy and stout and green nature can be. They in no way looked dependent on us, neither adulterated or pitiful or weak or out of place. They instead seemed the smartest and most beautiful and strongest hosts letting every tourist believe that there is nothing more beautiful, more peaceful, more serene. Rising through the heights of Nelliyampathy hills, wherever we stopped, we searched for words and expressions to tie the astounding sight. With the mingled smell of cardamom, coffee beans and spices the air seemed so welcoming relaxing us in its service.

The cloud caressed peaks with heavenly formations of trees and rocks made the entire journey refreshing and we felt blessed in the lap of the majestic hills. At the peak of the hill that offers the entire view of the city in its lap held us at the top of seventh cloud or even beyond that. I cannot fairly describe here through my words how much peaceful it was. The silence that has rhythms of nature and whispers of air, where sky seemed near and land seemed far away, where I wished to lie down and talk with him for hours, or just lie down on his chest and look at the farthest point which cannot see us. The place hypnotized and brought the memories of him who makes life fulfilling. That was the beauty of that point which made everyone nostalgic and borrowed.

Well if I go on with this travelogue, I will keep on writing and writing because what is seen is something that can be described full on without any halt. But I guess this much is sufficient to collect back and go back in the galleries and valleys of my minds where the color of Kerela is still lingering.

 I just lived and held her in my arms, I got painted in her colors and I remained at peace.

Dreamers

Dreamers

A fair dream hangs around

to cherish, to remember, to fall apart.

To make this life filled with love

And make every end, a new start.

The bridge stands to witness

what nature stores within.

A hope, a desire, a due instinct,

A lesson, a tale, a romantic din.

The moonlit whisperer

 Life goes on like day and night

With ample times to take a hold.

where whispers of glorious past

reveal the moments, kept and sold.

The desperate moon up in the sky

looks down at us to see

the shine that makes him jealous,

The light that follows a destiny.

Heart

Heart is a room of conspiracies. It seldom allows to stand at one point categorically. It always has another say in the most obvious things as if its sole aim is to prove that being the weakest among the strong chain of a human soul it is the strongest cause the weakest link has the power to break the entire chain.

The nature of heart being entirely unpredictable often brings a sense of fear while listening to it because its volatility towards different events is very quick and strong.My heart beats for life but my life often skips many beats. The most tender and delicate fractal that needs a consolation and desirable treatment every time it loses faith and hope. And surprisingly it is very much flexible enough to get manipulated the way we want. But question still remains is it our smartness or tragedy when we become able or successful in calming the heart which just became loquacious few times back.

The other side

Life has been parted into ages, every age with its own thinking whose language is often misunderstood. The reasons might be the face-lifting experiences in own life, tendency not to be odd among people, possessive nature that defaces into an imposed obligation and in many cases societal fossilized thinking that closes all the doors that may lead to any kind of change or acceptance. Human propensity not to accept the fact that he might be wrong, never allows him to breathe in the magical freshness of change that brings positive results with it. Such resilience appears on the skin of every age that is coiled with gossamer of endless references and creates the gap. A little listening and little more thinking over any issue helps in bridging the gap. The poem hence has tried to unleash the doubts of one of the most delicate relations between a father and his son.

Son:

{1}

When youth is in all its glory,

When I am ready to live my own story,

Why do you fret that I may fail?

Why do you think my efforts are stale?

{2}

I have my own mind to fit in,

My own eyes to see.

When you put your veil in front,

Tell me, how would I feel free?

{3}

I sometimes doubt your trust,

Your faith that you put in me.

Cause I know you are the strongest roots

Of which I have grown as a tree.

{4}

I still remember all the lessons,

That you taught with zeal to me.

I just want to add a little more,

With whatever I happen to see.

{5}

I fear to say that you are wrong,

Sometimes whenever I feel.

It’s just that I feel bit different,

And find some truths within.

{6}

Let me take out my hands

Crossed with yours till now.

To see this world and walk around

To find my path unbound.

{7}

I will be happy if you are

And same do I want from you.

Without any if’s and but’s

Your heart is where you ought to go through.

Father:

{1}

I will start from where you ended

And will open my heart today

That has fractals in the same line

In the same helpless way.

{2}

If I am the root and you are the tree

Tell me how I can ever let you free.

If truth lies only in what is seen,

Wouldn’t it be hard dear, to keep you green?

{3}

The fears of mine you referred to

Might keep your hands tied

Those only prevail cause I could see

My own reflection living my life.

{4}

Stories repeat defeating the time

Where I was once, today you stand.

I just want you to peep through it

Where lays a fertile promising land.

{5}

I have a strange thing to grouse,

That I am old enough to expiate.

But I want you to be all right

Before you deplore, before it’s late.

{6}

It’s not you that I doubt

It’s the life that I have already seen

Foresight are bad today I feel

Cause your doubts are quite umpteen.

{7}

I know I would not walk with you

Forever in life wherever you go.

But I always want you to have my shadow

Far enough to land you through.

{8}

It’s not fair at all

to expect from any age

For it seeks what it has seen.

Albeit it’s true that sooner or later

You will be a father with your teen.

With same sort of puzzles to solve

And similar issues to evolve.

If you feel anytime something can break

Talk to your son whatever it takes.

I am sure that you’ll be light again

The moment you strike a bargain.

Since every story has another side,

The way we are trying to take that ride.

One thing I promise I won’t let you fall,

Even when you want to ride alone.

I might not be right every time

But promise me dear,

 Our poem shall always rhyme.